Its me Alan and today I am going to tell you about what I am going to write a short poem describing how I may feel if I am Neil Armstrong landing in the moon. So here is the poem:
My rocket was landing in the moon,
When it was noon in earth,
As I jumped on the moon ,
The sound of my footsteps,
Sounded like the moon was laughing,
When it had a bad cough,
As I poke the flag in the moon,
The sound of me poking the flag,
sounded like an,
ooooooooooooouch,
As I returned to earth after a few days ,
I regretted Going to earth so quickly.
Hello Alan, its me Parwin! I see you are also doing the SLJ, the challenge is on!
ReplyDeleteI really liked your poem as it was a very interesting one and it also very unique as well. I liked how you said how the moon was kind of feeling when you did certain things and how you felt as well.
This reminds me of when I did this and did a free verse like you. I was going to write an acrostic poem or a haiku but it didn't really work out so I just did a free verse since it was easier.
I think that for you to improve, maybe you could put the text on like a google drawing with a background or present it on something. Also, you either need to create a picture or attribute it!
Awesome work!
Looking forward to your next posts,
Parwin
Hello parvin,
DeleteThanks for commenting in my blog post.Next I will follow your advice and put the text on like a google drawing with a background or present it on something.
Kind regards
Alan
Kia ora Alan, It's me, Amelia.
ReplyDeleteI liked the way you have a picture of the moon with the rocket and the red flag.
This reminds me of when I did this activity except I made my own picture and put it on google drawings.
To improve, you could put it on a slide, google drawing, maybe just something to make it look a bit cooler, and if you want an image, either make it yourself, or attribute it.
Why did you choose to do a free verse?
Bye Alan, keep it up!
-Amelia 🦊
Hello Amelia,
DeleteThanks for commenting in my blog post.Next time I will follow your advice and I could put it on a slide or google drawing.
Kind regards
Alan
Kia ora Alan,
ReplyDeleteGreat work on completing another Summer Learning Journey activity - keep up the good work. Don’t forget to comment back to blog commenters as well as on others SLJ blog posts to gain extra points.
What a fantastic poem you have created. The way you have described the moon is as if it was communicating back to you. Is that what you were trying to get across when you were writing your poem?
Going to the moon would be pretty amazing don't you think? Imagine being able to go that far up in the sky and see all of those stars and planets. Would you go to the moon if you could?
Until next time, happy blogging :)
Emma